ALL WIRELESS ROUTERS ARE FUCKING SHIT

Written by  on December 29, 2012 

Let me ask you this:  IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET A FUCKING RELIABLE WIRELESS ROUTER?  AT ALL?  IN THIS OR ANY COUNTRY?  Because I’m sick as SHIT of the fucking GARBAGE I keep buying.

See, Satan Claus was good to Uncle Chickenhead this year and bought him an expensive Asus wireless router.  Why?  Because the previous router, a fucking LinkShit E2100L was an unreliable piece of excretia that would randomly drop connections or “go deaf.”  All the reviews online said the Asus RT-N56U was a great router, and performed off the charts.  I thought I did my homework.

IT TURNS OUT IT IS A BIG A PIECE OF UNRELIABLE SHIT JUST LIKE LINKSYS.  You see, “performance” and “range” are fucking secondary to me.  What matters is that the FUCKING THING DOESN’T RANDOMLY DROP CONNECTIONS OR “GO DEAF” REQUIRING ME TO REBOOT THE FUCKING THING SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.  You see when the Chicken McNuggets are telling Chickenhead the “internet is down” several times a day, THIS MAKES CHICKENHEAD HOMICIDAL.

There is only one router that I have in my possession that actually works.  An ancient Linksys WRT-54GL.  An old Wireless-G only router based on Loonix that I put the free DD-WRT firmware on.  That’s the only one that works.  So why not stick with that one?  Hello shithead, it’s 2013…everything is Wireless-N.  Wireless-N has many advantages including range and speed.  My little Linksys can only do so much with all the grunt we pour through it.   I wanted a decent upgrade.

So why not just put DD-WRT on the other routers?  Well the mighty Asus isn’t supported.  The Linkshit E2100L is, but DD-WRT’s firmware for that router is even worse than stock.  See just like every other open source project that tries to support too many hardware targets, DD-WRT seems to suffer from a severe quality control problem and they never seem to have reached a solid GA release of any kind.  For the E2100L it’s basically a couple of shitheads randomly slapping together new features and doing zero regression testing, hence IT SUCKS ASS.  For some reason ONLY the WRT-54GL is reliable.

SO I AM ASKING YOU OUT THERE IN SHITTERNET-LAND:  IS THERE A WIRELESS-N CAPABLE ROUTER THAT IS RELIABLE AND WON’T BREAK MY LIMITED BANK ACCOUNT???  I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN RELIABILITY, ie I WON’T have to reboot the fucking thing every day and it won’t randomly shit itself.

Edit #1:  Fuck all of you Reddit shitheads giving this a “thumbs down.”  Seriously, WHO the fuck are you?  Do you honestly think the fucking SHIT you buy at Best Buy and Future Shop is worth defending?  Is your penis that small?  Seriously, you are the reason why America fucking fails.  You bend over and accept failing, klunking kerosene-soaked SHIT made in China that doesn’t work and breaks a day later, and then wonder why everyone else is angry.  Seriously, FUCK YOU.  “Just rage quit”..the voice of the fat-assed loser console generation who thinks they can solve everything with their thumbs.  Fucking typical.

Tell me what you think in the comments below!

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Comments

5 Responses

  1. theviking says:

    time to go old school…cat 5 about 100 foot long….plug it in and never drop connection again. unless you get drunk and trip over the cord ripping it from your router….not my problem

  2. chickenhead says:

    Once again our Norse friend speaks truth. Nothing beats a fucking hard-wired connection.

    The Chicken Farm is a challenge, since all the walls are plaster…wiring it up would take a lot of effort and fucked if I haven’t had too much absinthe right now to even think of a project like that.

  3. nf says:

    Get a MikroTik routerboard. For $129 you can get a router that rivals cisco enterpise hardware.

    http://routerboard.com/RB2011UAS-2HnD-IN

  4. peter says:

    I have a large area covered with three Apple airport routers and I never see dropped connections.

    In the past I have seen interference from a walkabout phone, the solution was to change the channel that the Wifi routers used from the default. Perhaps you have some interference that pops up intermittently?

  5. chickenhead says:

    MikroTik is what I’ve been told about before. I might go with them once I get my money back on the Asus.

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