This is an emergency transmission from Chickenhead:
I am broadcasting from the depths of my underground bunker. Yes children, shit has just gotten real. I am running off diesel generators and Bill Cooper re-runs.
No, the federal marshals are not outside trying to navigate my elaborate maze of booby traps. Something far worse is out there. Something round.
It seems that my essay about the uselessness of HAM radio operators hit a nerve. And the end result was a coordinated attack..not just on the AHKGANG bunker, but on all of AMERICA.
First, the electronic attack. Yes, ahkgang.com was taken off the air…we were attacked from all frequencies by Mormon HAM radio operators, who translated the occult rituals of the Moron Tabernacle into zeroes and ones. These zeroes and ones PELTED our firewall like round-headed rain, and we went down. As I listened to my shortwave radio I could hear the round-head HAMS gloating and accusing each other about not following the Holy Ordum of Jehosaph Smythe properly.
So I retreated to my personal bunker for the duration. For the attack of the round-head HAMs was only the beginning.
What America knew as the hurricane Sandy was not the whole truth, see. Yes, it was a storm. Yes, it was a hurricane. But it was NOT NATURAL. No, it wasn’t HAARP. It wasn’t the Russian Woodpecker or UVB-76. The storm was a direct creation of the OCCULT RITUALS OF THE MORON TABERNACLE MADE PHYSICAL.
See the Highest Priest of the Moromon Tabernacle has a secret. And he can’t just keep it to himself so his most trusted assistants are the Keepers of the Grand Secret. It is a secret not of this world, passed down by whisper and by arcane symbology. Oh the Moromons will say it came from the Thirteenth Tribe of Kolob but this is hiding the simple and terrible truth: it is a secret from SPACE.
Yes children, the horrible secrets of the Moromon Tabernacle have a plan. Blueprints, actually. And they’ve been building those blueprints for centuries. And what happened with Hurricane Sandy was the direct result of the first test flight of the Mormon Basestar.
The truth of the plans almost got out in 1977 when George Lucase made a spherical space station on the big screen. In truth Lucas was trying to warn us…something big and round and in space. But the true Mormon Basestar is not round…it is flatter, like a pancake. And it just had it’s maiden voyage.
Yes the Hurricanes Sandy was caused by the massive atmospheric interference caused by the flight of the arcane and occult Mormon Basestar. They did this to demonstrate their power in this coming election year. It doesn’t matter WHO you vote for…the Basestar is up there now, and the Grand Tabernacle is COMING.
My diesel generators are rapidly running out of fuel and soon I must surface. They’re trying to stop me from revealing the truth of the other side of the coin, Mitt Romney. Election day is almost here and I only hope that the All-Father grants me the speed I need to get the next article up.